02.11.2015

Literally no one reads this blog but it doesn't matter, honestly. It's kind of therapeutic might I say. I am almost done with my GCE O Levels. I only have two more papers to sit for next week and that would be the end of my secondary school education. It has been a journey and I am quite upset with my performance for some of the subjects but am quite confident that I can score a pretty decent grade for subjects like Mathematics and Additional Mathematics.

I don't really have much to do right now. I'm kind of just waiting for the last two papers and then see what else is planned out for me (nothing much actually). I refuse to say that I am obsessed but I visit Buzzfeed way to often and I came across this article about people talking about certain misconceptions surrounding mental illnesses. The first person was diagnosed with PMDD or premenstrual dysphoric disorder and something clicked inside of me.

I did what other normal human being would do. I looked it up on Google and read a few websites that were talking about it. I found myself relating to a lot of the symptoms and I got slightly worried. PMDD is a more serious form of PMS and it can lead to depression and/or GAD (generalised anxiety disorder). In my case, I definitely experience the symptoms of PMDD; extreme mood swings, agitation, anxiety, feelings of hopelessness and out of control, physical symptoms like cramps, headaches, fatigue, bloating etc.

The thing about PMDD is that the symptoms usually go away once menstruation starts. The symptoms are usually at a peak one or two weeks before menstruation and I can strongly relate to all of it. I do understand that whatever I read on the internet may not be 100% accurate or true and I'm probably being my hypochondriac self. It is worrying, definitely. I do want to get help. Not just because of the self-diagnosing PMDD but for many other reasons. However, I don't think that my family will actually take it seriously unlike a physical illness.

That's the whole problem with mental illnesses and society. Just because you can't see that a person is feeling unwell or ill, doesn't mean that they're not struggling. Mental illnesses are just as serious as physical illnesses and should be taken more seriously. They're people too.

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